Going Dark For a While

Speedy Running Friends, I've realized that my stumbling efforts to progress beyond 7 miles are not making very scintillating reading.

What's more, I'm pretty frantic right now trying to get my head around all the various aspects of starting a new business, so both the training and the blogging about it are taking a bit of a back seat.

In my defense, this blog was only really supposed to be a 7-month intrepid tale of a first-time marathoner. However, knees and life sort of got in the way (funny, that), and 16 months later, I admit that the most I'll ever manage may be 26 miles in one week. So, this blog is going dark for a while as I trot around our neighborhood slowly, regularly and without news-worthy speed or drama.


Rest assured, I haven't quite given up on my marathon yet, and I'm taking Asha's recommendation of reading Chi Running seriously, to see if that brings me some benefit. In any case, I'm sufficiently hooked on running to want to keep doing it and I'm greatly consoled that my favorite race route, across the Golden Gate Bridge, is a very manageable 12k. My worst-case scenario is still one of the most beautiful runs in the world and I'm grateful to have two legs, no matter how wonky, to carry me.

Naturally, if I do run stagger through the Napa Marathon, you'll be hearing about it. Otherwise, if you happen to pass me on the much shorter route from Sausalito to San Francisco, I hope you'll give me a friendly wave.

Photo thanks: José Gregorio Sánchez Duarte

I Need a Hedgehog Ramp

This might be my most cryptic blog title every - my apologies. Allow me to elaborate.

In the UK, especially in rural areas, like the part of Scotland where I spent some of my childhood, we have things called cattle grids. These are deep pits with a sort of rack laid across them, placed at strategic points where cars and pedestrians are allowed through, but livestock should not venture . Basically, their hooves can't negotiate the slats and so savvy sheep and cows stay on the correct side. (As a child, there was a memorable moment where I fell down between these slats with my tiny feet, but that's another story.)

Cartoon thanks

Anyway, these ingenious devices pose a terrible hazard to hedgehogs, who seem to fall in there quite often and then can't get out. I assume that means a slow and sad death for these creatures. Happily, many caring cattle grid owners are now installing ramps to allow our prickly friends to climb out of their predicament.

Image thanks

Right now, there is more than a touch of hedgehog-in-the-hole about me. My running was already getting less attention than it deserved - excuses like dark mornings and a (useful, important) hunt for a new career were creeping in. Then I added getting really, really tired.... house guests.... obligatory extra shifts at work... and finally, a stinking cold. I don't believe I've done any exercise for 2 weeks; my nutritional intake is currently appalling and all I want to do is knock back another flu remedy and snuggle in bed.

I'm totally in the cattle grid and could really use a ramp round about now. Tomorrow, I'm planning a short run (or a run-walk, if necessary) and I need to start chowing on some serious fruit and veg, rather than Halloween candy.

Photo thanks

Have you any suggestions for easy, nutritious, comfort food? This hapless hedgehog thanks you.

What Was I Thinking?

I've not exactly been neglecting my training, but I haven't been totally diligent about it, either. The past few weekends have seen me working hard on some house DIY projects, and my typical Saturday habit of run~eat~sleep is not a big help in getting a bedroom finished. And while I've been doing a few knee exercises here and there, I find I'm surprisingly forgetful in sticking to the "every other day" rule.

So it's not surprising that I'm plodding on a bit of a plateau, and, with no particular progress to report, a blog posting has not come easily to mind.

Today, however, in the middle of my regular lunchtime fitness class, I found myself firmly at the back of a very mixed pack and wondering what the heck I was thinking in signing up for a marathon? I'm feeling sluggish and all my workout gear is tight. My soul mate and running buddy has switched to biking and swimming to relieve his own cantankerous knees. Recently, my "long" runs have been just 7 miles. I need to pull another 19 out of somewhere and I honestly don't know if I have it in me. Would it be so terrible just to give up quietly and settle for running in 10k events?

How do you decide when a goal is just not within your reach? Do you keep plugging away, or give up gracefully?

Image thanks: Runnerdecals.com

Re-thinking of Goals

My goodness, how can half the year be gone already? As I trotted a very modest 7 miles on Saturday (only just over a quarter-marathon, how tame!) I was thinking how this year has not quite gone to plan.

My goals for 2010 included:

• running my first marathon...
  
• ....alongside my husband
• and completing a half marathon in under 2 hours.

Oh dear. Best laid plans and all that. Instead, I'm now praying hard that I'll be healthy enough to run a single once-this-lifetime marathon next year, and I've kicked any ideas of speed out the window, in favor of good, solid knees. One day, sure, I'd like to break 2 hours for the half, but until I get 26.2 under my belt, I'll settle quite happily for a slow jog, if that's what it takes to get round.

As for Beloved Husband (my trusty wing-man), his knees are also giving him grief and he's not running at all at the moment. We're both hopeful that with some care and rest, he'll bounce back, but I have to be prepared for the possibility that I'll be running entirely on my own for the next few hundred miles. (That'll teach me to sign us both up for things without checking with him first!)

So, not exactly a stellar year in terms of fitness goals. But the strange thing is, I'm OK with it. Every time I go out and manage more than 3 or 4 miles without pain, I'm grateful to be able to run at all. And I firmly believe that if I build up really gradually, there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to do a 26 mile course within the 6-hour limit. Everything else can simply wait.

How are your 2010 fitness goals going?

Photo thanks: Sanja Gjenero

Well, this is embarrassing...

For my own benefit as much as yours, I thought I should do a post to clarify, Yes, I am still here, just struggling a bit.

I've been feeling utterly crummy for three weeks. Nothing in the least bit serious, just a stupid cold that I haven't quite been able to shift. But I felt too guilty to take more than one day off work, and so have been using up my energy just on the daily ins-and-outs of existence. I probably should have spent the last couple of weekends on the sofa, but joining several thousand San Franciscans to watch the USA play England at soccer, plus the unending quest to prettify my home, have just been too tempting.

Three weeks, of course, isn't the end of the world, but before those, there were 16 lazy vacation days, and I wasn't anywhere near wonderful shape before that.

My runs, therefore, have been short and sluggish. This morning's 5 miles were a photo-finish between me and the neighborhood snails. My weight is creeping slowly but undeniably upward (well, brownies are good for morale when you're under the weather, right?).

But this can't go on. I'm a fit, healthy person, not a 10% overweight reluctant exerciser who gets sick at the drop of a hat. If any of you know of a magic pill marked Energy, I'd love to hear about it. I need to get my groove back, and quick!

Photo thanks: Miroslav Sárička

Slip Sliding Away

Isn't it funny how something as trivial as a common cold can make you feel so utterly wretched?

Having run just 13 miles in the last 2 weeks, eaten badly, slept poorly, crossed 8 time zones and then come back again, I really shouldn't be surprised at feeling under the weather.

Image found here

I'm trying not to be too paranoid about my fitness level slipping slowly but surely from pretty good to average to poor. To be honest, I spent the latter part of last year feeling somewhat smug: I had achieved a PR half marathon, was running 3-4 times a week, doing weight training twice and yoga once. Right now I'm not sure I could jog a mile and I'm feeling extremely guilty at not having done one single knee exercise while I was in England.

The plan: be kind to myself while I kick this cold, and then get firmly back on track. After all, it's only 9 months to marathon day! As we say in England - Crikey.

The Joy of Blisters

I'm never particularly enthused by blog postings which start with an apology for the owner's absence. So let's just say skiing - knee - apathy - couch potato and you'll get the general idea.

When I first started Struggling to be Speedy, I anticipated a slow but stoic success story as I built my way from an 8-mile jog to a 26-mile epic. Much like any country that's ever declared war, I thought the whole thing would be over within 6 months and I could return, victorious, to a normal life. Instead, my naïve marathon plans became pathetically derailed at mile 18 and I've been struggling to maintain healthy lifestyle habits within my new limitations.

I never really 'marketed' this blog as I simply thought it would be fun to have a diary of my first and only marathon adventure. Frankly, I was surprised and more than a tad flattered that anyone at all would follow along with me. Hence, I owe you an update.

After 5 months of googling, pondering and expecting to wake up one day with a healthy knee, I finally went to the doctor last week. Disappointingly, but not surprisingly, she didn't really know much about it (I had already figured out that ice and Advil might be good allies). However, she did refer me to physiotherapy, so I am enormously hopeful that someone there will be able to prescribe the correct exercises to get me back into training.

Meanwhile, figuring I might at least give them something to work with, I did a 5 mile trot yesterday without serious pain - or at least, not in my knee. The massive blister on my left foot definitely comes under the category of too much information, but suffice to say, I was delighted that my most serious affliction was from such an unsinister cause. It's a strange sport indeed where you find yourself thrilled just because it hurts somewhere new...

Image thanks: Cafe Press

Feeling Grouchy

I have mentioned before that I'm lucky enough to work for an employer who puts emphasis on health and well-being.

This week's offering, which I attended, was a Nutrition Workshop. More on that later. For now, suffice to say that before we got into the foodie merits of couscous versus quinoa, there was plenty of more general, upbeat encouragement to take care of ourselves, including inevitable exhortations to exercise.

Hah! I'm slightly ashamed to admit that kind of message is making me grumpy right now. Frankly, I was sitting there with my arms folded, thinking "Well, sure, I'd be happy to go out and run 30 miles a week if it wasn't for this pathetic knee."


But of course, "I would if I could" is not actually the same as exercising.

Clearly I need to break out of my grump and find a routine with other forms of fitness which are effective and enjoyable. I do go regularly to a lunchtime Body Sculpt class, but even stationary lunges and squats are starting to bug my knee. Cycling is sort of OK, but I never work up to the kind of (an)aerobic levels that I was getting with running. Last weekend, I did manage 11 gentle miles on two wheels, although I suspect eating a cooked breakfast at the half-way point was not the smartest dietary tactic!

Anyway, enough whinging. We can all point to people who manage to exercise despite perceived barriers, including one who is missing a whole leg, never mind a funny knee. It's time for me to hit the road/pedals/oars and join them.

Image found at:
http://riphertothreads.blogspot.com/2009/10/stoic-but-resentful.html

A Fork in the Road?

I had been feeling guilty at not doing a bit more running in the last couple of weeks, mainly due to our weekend away skiing which always leaves me scrambling the following week to keep body and soul together. And this weekend I decided to bump staining our TV cabinet right to the top of my list, meaning that running fell off the bottom.

So this morning when I lugged myself out of bed at 0-dark-hundred, I expected to find it hard work and slow going. What I didn't expect, after a measly three miles, was serious knee pain. Considering I hadn't run for nearly two weeks, and certainly didn't do anything dramatic to my knees while skiing slowly down Northstar's blue routes, I was surprised and alarmed to discover that 30 minutes was my limit.

It's exactly four months since I first became conscious of my right knee being a problem while running. Since then I've gone really easy on it, have bought it special gear, and even, for a short while, started drinking a pretty purple liquid. But it seems to have become worse, not better. I'm wondering now if a marathon is a totally crazy aim, and even whether I'll ever do another half. I may have to get over my British-ness* and go in search of medical advice.
*We don't really like to see a Doctor until something turns green and drops off - that's pretty much how our health care system holds together :)

Meantime, once again I need to re-assess my fitness goals and seek alternative ways of staying vaguely in shape - or at least finding something to stop the pounds piling on. The good news is that spring is here, and Beloved Husband has been muttering about all kinds of wheeled and water-born outings. I may yet have to re-title this blog Crazy Sports I Tried, to Keep My Hubby Happy.

Photo via: the Reputation Doctor

Good News from Napa

Today I owe a big thank you to the kind folks at the Napa Valley Marathon who have deferred the race registrations for both my husband and me until 2011. Hopefully now, with 13 months to get ready, I'll be able to sweet-talk my knee into playing nicely and joining in the party spirit. I did feel pretty guilty as hubby was out for a 24 mile run (in the rain) when the email came through to confirm our deferrals. Happily he doesn't seem to be holding a grudge but I suspect his distances will ease off a bit now that we know he doesn't have to run.

I'm now about half way through my self-imposed running break and am eagerly awaiting the day when I can start trotting gently again. It feels like a good moment to reflect on what this episode has taught me:

• Don't sign up for an event until you're fairly sure you have the necessary fitness level.
• Especially don't sign your husband up without asking him :)
  
• Keep a running diary (whether old-tech or hi-tech) and pay attention to any niggling pains.
  
• There's a good reason they tell you not to increase your distance more than about 10% per week.
• It's probably better to slightly under-train than slightly over-train. Or, as Asha wisely commented here, sometimes getting to the start line is the hardest part.
  
• There's always someone out there with a more severe injury than you.
  
• Sometimes, all the work in the world just isn't destined to give results.

The good news about this running break is that I've noticed I have heaps of energy on Saturdays and have been packing a lot more into the weekend compared to my previous run-eat-nap routine. I'm pleased that a few household projects have finally seen some progress - but that's a whole other blog!

Photo thanks: Samuel Ducroquet

Waiting and Resting

I realize this blog has gone rather quiet, but I'm basically lurking and waiting for my self-imposed knee-resting period to pass. I picked a rather arbitrary 6 weeks, so around Valentine's Day I plan to start trotting gently again and hope my knee shows renewed enthusiasm.

This weekend was the first in ages where I did nothing more active than go for a walk. It seemed very strange not to be stumbling out of bed to put some kind of fitness gear on. I guess I should make the most of it as I'm sure the day will come when I'm doing 20 miles in the rain and longing for the sofa :)

Photo thanks: Benjamin Earwicker

391 Miles Later

Today I made the sad but not totally unexpected decision that I won't be able to do the Napa Valley Marathon in March.

At least, not March 2010 :)

We were aiming for a Long Slow Distance run of about 15 miles. However, by mile 4, my knee started whispering to me gently. For the next few miles it was a co-operative but grumpy ally and by about mile 9 I had to admit that today's distance was not feasible, at least, not without severe pain and possibly lasting damage. Working backwards from race day, this means there's no way I can expect to build enough stamina to take a reasonable shot at the full marathon.

I'm extremely disappointed, but since these knee problems started several weeks ago, I've had time to get used to the possibility that the race in March might not happen.

Since deciding to enter the marathon at the end of last July, I have covered 391 miles of training. That's about the length of Arizona, or the distance from London to Edinburgh. I'm trying to be proud of that accomplishment and not think too much about the shoulda-woulda-coulda's.

As a child, schoolwork came easily to me and I honestly can't remember a time in my life when I have worked hard for something and not been rewarded with results, so this is a whole new lesson for me. I'm also facing up to the concept that, at the ripe old age of 37, I may not always be able to rely on my body doing what I ask it to. And finally, as Beloved Husband notes, I like to be in control and in this instance, I really have no say in the matter.

But I'm thinking of this as down but not out. My goal now is to rest my knee until it's fully better, and then pick up running again. I want to do a half marathon in under 2 hours and I will gradually add longer and longer runs to weekend outings. Once I can crack my nemesis distance of 18 miles, I'll be looking around for a marathon to enter. Who knows, Napa 2011 may work just fine.

Photo thanks: Colin Cochrane

All I want for Christmas is a healthy pair of knees

Ooh, I love a good spreadsheet. As you might imagine, entering a marathon was a wonderful excuse for drawing up training plans, pace calculations, and what-if scenarios.

Unfortunately when I started all this, I didn't really expect to be doing the spreadsheet to figure out just how long can I rest my knee without kissing Napa goodbye. It turns out, Excel has spoken, and if I don't start trotting this weekend, with a LSD run next weekend, it ain't gonna happen.

With this in mind, I took myself down to Fleet Feet in Menlo Park, much beloved amongst local pavement-pounders for their friendly, helpful (miracle-working?) staff. I left the store $20 lighter and the owner of a Pro-Tec Patellar Tendon Strap. What the heck, it's worth a try, right? I'm heading for the track a little later to do just a couple of miles and see what happens.

But don't worry, I'll be careful. I've received some wonderful advice here about the importance of perspective and that I may be looking at one marathon versus the rest of my life. Sounds kinda scary when put like that.

Although, Santa, if you could return the Tiffany earrings and BMW convertible, and pop a couple of new knees down the chimney instead, it'd be much appreciated. Cheers.

Photo thanks: Pro-Tec Athletics, and please note, that's not my hairy knee.

Lies and statistics

Well, I can tell you truthfully that yesterday morning, Beloved Husband and I headed out and covered 16 miles. I can also say, perfectly honestly, that one of those miles was done in 6 minutes, which for Struggler is an incredibly fast pace.

The problem with statistics like these is the piece of missing information: we were on bikes.

I still don't dare run on my knee, but having experimented with some extremely cold swimming pools and received some thoughtful feedback here that a lower body workout would be a better idea, we opted for bikes instead. My knee wasn't exactly thrilled at the whole adventure, but I think it was a little stiff and cold more than anything else. And at least the pain in my backside took my mind off it.

I need to do some calculations, but I've a feeling if I can't get back to trotting rather than pedaling in the next week or so, the Napa Valley marathon will be over for me. Every day I "rest", I lose a bit of fitness, and the remaining time in which to rebuild my mileage shrinks. If I don't see a drastic improvement soon, the decision on whether to run or not will effectively be made for me.

Photo thanks: Karin Eggink

Keep drinking the pink stuff

I surprised myself by getting through a Body Sculpt class yesterday, albeit missing out some lunges and other knee-needy activities. It felt good to be doing something a little bit active and I might even have burned off a few dastardly calories. (I'm convinced that, if my knee does get better, I'm going to be lugging some extra pounds with me.)

This week has turned unusually cold for northern California and there is no way I'm going near a swimming pool until it gets milder again. However, hopes are currently high that I might be able to trot a bit by the weekend. I won't dwell too much on the plan on my fridge door that says 20 miles, long slow distance - I'll just settle for any mileage at this point, before my feet forget how to do it altogether.

Meanwhile, I came across a free sample of a drink called Elations. Yes, I know, very strange name, but apparently it contains supplements Glucosamine and Chondroitin that are supposed to "improve joint comfort in just 6 days". Oh yeah, and they have a photo of men in running shorts on their web site. Given my total knee-obsession right now, I gleefully seized it to give it a try. It tastes OK: not fabulous, but not awful, and if there's even a slight chance it might help me, then frankly I'm happy to hand over the credit card. Desperate? Yup, just a bit.

Photo thanks: Elations

Facing reality

After nearly a week of knee-rest, I managed just 2 pain-free miles on Saturday. The next 2 miles were decidedly not pain-free, at which point I hobbled home on the arm of my enormously kind hubby who could easily have sprinted off and left me in the cold, but gallantly stuck with me.

The Napa marathon is now 13 weeks away. I think at least 3 of those weeks are needed at the end, to 'taper'. In theory, there's still time for me to take a couple of weeks off, and then start building my miles up again. But that assumes that my knee sees the error of its ways and will let me get back to my previous distance and then add another 50%.

In reality, I think I need to face the possibility I won't be able to do the marathon, or will get scooped up by the stragglers' bus after the 6-hour time limit passes. I'm doing all kinds of mental math (six 10-minute miles followed by 5 hours of 15-minute miles would get me to the finish line) and am making crazy plans involving heavier than recommended doses of painkillers.

But if I'm honest with myself, unless I can rely on 2 good knees within a couple of weeks, I think I'm going to have to accept my role may be cheering from the sidelines once again.

Image thanks: Billy Alexander

The Significance of Steam

This would be a good moment for me to remind us all that this is supposed to be a running blog. Sadly, due to my wonky knee, I have been enduring self-imposed rest for nearly a week now.

To cheer myself up and make me feel like I'm still doing something useful towards my March marathon, I very reluctantly took myself off to swim instead.

OMG. I will never, ever complain about dark, cold, drizzly runs again. Swimming at an outdoor pool in December really should qualify as an extreme sport.

On Wednesday evening I visited pool number 1, which was giving off more steam than the Night Mail pulling up Beatock. Three lanes out of four were marked for 'Slow' swimming, but the triangular torpedoes freestyling up and down appeared unaware of this fact. I shivered on the edge (looking most fetching in ski jacket and towel) and willed myself not to run away. A full five minutes passed before space became available and I dared insert myself into this thrashing throng. At that point, things did improve. The torpedoes turned out to be fairly friendly and not too concerned at me doing a hybrid doggie-paddle-breast-stroke up and down their pool. 4o minutes later I made the dash back inside, grateful for the cover of all that steamy darkness. Alas, this California pool really had been constructed for the summer months - the changing area was tiny and freezing. I literally threw my clothes on and scuttled to the relative warmth of the car.

In view of the torpedo situation and igloo-like facilities at pool number 1, I decided to try pool number 2 last night. It's closer to work but the lap-swimming hours are not as convenient. Happily, this is a larger facility (what luxury, a lane to myself) and the changing rooms even had heat! Alas, I should have been suspicious at the comparative lack of steam coming off the water. Heck, I could even see right the way from one end of the pool to the other. The water was breathtakingly cold and for someone like me who doesn't move very fast, 30 minutes was about as long as I could tolerate. I never earned my penguin diploma in high school and really don't want to start now.

Of course, only the very dedicated will choose to swim outdoors in December. I have new respect for those who choose to do so, but am more determined than ever to resume dry-land activities as soon as I dare.

Photo thanks: Steve Knight, Kristin Thompson

I guess it's time to get wet

Question: what's worse than having to run in spite of darkness, cold and fatigue?
Answer: not being able to run.

I won't bore you with the details, but my knee is still very tender and, whilst not painful in every day life, feels really weak and I just don't dare ask it to pound any pavements.

I've now missed 2 sessions and 12 miles of training and am really freaking out. I've come to realize how totally hooked I am on this trotting business, and how important it is to my personal goals to be able to complete the marathon. I feel like I've already come so far - who knew 18 miles was possible! - and there's no way I'm giving up now. I'm frustrated, disappointed, and just a little stroppy.

However, I'm not a total idiot, I really don't want to cripple myself for life, and most of the advice for Runner's Knee involves rest.

So tonight I plan to do something even harder than lugging my lazy carcass out for an after work run. It's gonna be wet, it's gonna be cold, it's gonna be humiliating. But I will do it in order to have any chance of crossing that finish line in March.

Yep, so help me, I'm gonna swim.

Photo thanks: Petr Kovar

Chondromalacia

Sounds fancy, doesn't it? The less glamorous truth is that a very common condition known more widely as Runner's Knee has brought me to a grinding halt.


If you're unlucky to have found this page through a Google search, then try here, here, or if you really want to be depressed, here for more informed explanations. Otherwise, let's just say it:

• Is one of the most common injuries among runners
• Often strikes as runners approach forty miles per week for the first time
• Affects twice as many women as men (yeah, we have wider hips, relative to our knees).

So on the physical side, I predict rest, ice, thigh-strengthening exercises and probably some anti-inflammatories will be top of mind for the next few days. Good job I still have some of those kick-ass pain killers from when I got my teeth done. :)

But more interesting, I think, will be the mental fight. What will Struggler do now? Will she just give up? Cry? Bitch and moan about how bloomin' unfair it is, when she was doing everything right and diligently following the plan? Or will she just quietly freak out about how on earth to get from 18 miles to 26.2, with 14 weeks and only one good leg?

We'll see.

Photo thanks: Colin Brough

Now I'm scared

First, let's look at the glass being half-full: yesterday I went out for a long-slow-distance run with Beloved Husband and covered 18 miles without serious trouble. Sure, by the end, I was pretty fed up and more than ready to stop, and yes, my pace (keeping heart-rate deliberately low) was mind-numbingly slow, but we covered the distance without me ever feeling at all doubtful that I could finish it.

And now the half-empty. Afterwards, my right knee (yes, the same villain from our long run 2 weeks ago) was seriously painful. Not that good, been-out-for-a-trot-and-loved-it kind of ache that runners know and love. More of the hurts-to-walk-round-the-grocery-store and how-the-heck-will-I-run-tomorrow kind of painful.

Up until now, I'd been foolishly assuming that as long as I followed the plan, forced myself to train even when I didn't feel like it, and stuck with the program, then a marathon would be well within my reach. Now I'm having to face the thought that something outside my control might have the final say.

I'm disappointed, scared, and tired.

Photo thanks: Simona Dumitru